There was a tornado just outside our window yesterday. It was a wimpy little stupid thing, they don't know how to grow 'em down here. The police still called - an hour later - to warn us "good citizens" that a tornado was passing by and to take cover. For one thing, where do they expect us to be able to take cover if we're already inside? There're (that is a word) no basements, and you're already inside if got the call. They want you to run outside and huddle under a tree? These brilliant people. And I'm not a "good citizen". For the record.
In Iowa our three story, ancient barn got flattened by a tornado (it got us on the front page of the Maquoketa Sentinel). Had to burn the rest of it down. Of course, when you're ten this is the most exciting moment of your life, burning these gigantic remains on purpose. Mom put me in charge of filming the entire operation which makes the video fairly unwatchable, or at least messy, for the viewer. Part of me died and went to heaven when the fire department showed up and mom realized that we'd forgotten to tell them about the burning (we made the front page again though: Ritual Cult Burning of Barn: child forced to videotape gruesome spectacle).
This is the most boring post I've ever written.
There're (it really is a word, isn't that delightful?) so many things in life that I don't understand. Most of 'em I'd never care to learn about such as most of the lovely "As Seen on TV" items floating around. For example, the "Bump It". I think it makes your hair stick up. At least that's what mine did. I looked like a member of a bad Asian punk rock group (if there's such a thing as "good" Asian punk rock group to allow for the existence of a bad one).
Country music is another mystery to me. Listened to about an hour of it last night and it sounded like one long continuous song - like a country opera. The general topic of discussion was:
1 - what they drank for breakfast - you knew he was happy and unprepared for the tragedy awaiting him if he was drinking coffee. If he drank whiskey (much more popular) then either his dog died, his pickup finally was shot, or his girlfriend dumped him the night before because all he ever do in life was "shuck corn".
2 - breaking up with girlfriends, tied with dog dying - already touched on, but also quite popular. Generally the breakups occur because of the lack of visionary ability on the part of the male. Dog dying is usually more of a ballad. "You could catch them old racoons, with a paw tied behind your back. And when I threw that old spittoon, never thought I'd lose you." (expert rhyme scheme rigcht there).
3 - how bad their friends have it - "I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey runs and the beer chases."
*No idea what that means.
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